THANKS FOR BEING A GOOD LISTENER

This summer I read a chapter in the third edition of The Hundred Languages of Children: The Reggio Emilia Experience in Transformation that blew me away.  The chapter was called: "The Pedagogy of Listening: The Listening Perspective from Reggio Emilia" by Carlina Rinaldi.  This chapter has forced me to ask serious questions about what it means to listen in the classroom.

According to Rinaldi, listening is a reciprocal endeavor in which the outcome in the "listening context" is not predetermined.  It means participants suspend judgement and are willing to change their point of view after hearing the other's ideas or thoughts.  Participants must not be so invested in their own point of view that their only purpose is to sway the other to his or her way of thinking. That means when I am listening to you, I am not just going through the motions so I can figure out a way to bring you on board to my way of thinking.  My ultimate purpose is not to convince you that my way of thinking is right; in dialogue, I am willing to try to understand your ideas by asking questions first rather than immediately responding with my thoughts.  In fact, we may continue to disagree, but in true listening exchanges, we come to appreciate each other's point of view. Rinaldi states: "To be open to others means to have the courage to come into this room and say, 'I hope to be different when I leave, not necessarily because I agree with you but because your thoughts have made me think differently.'" (p. 236).
  
So what does that mean for listening in the classroom?  It is not simply to talk at the children and expect them to listen.  In fact, that type of listening shows little respect for the children's competencies and simply asks them to be obedient, to be "a good listener."   If it is indeed reciprocal, then I need to engage in dialogue with the children as they search for meaning in their thoughts and in their actions.  My job is not to give them the answers, but to question, challenge, and accept their ideas.  By doing so, I show respect for their capacity to make sense of their world.  By the way, listening does not happen exclusively on the verbal plane.  Just as there are many languages or ways for children to express themselves, there should be many ways to listen and show we are listening.  Some of that comes in the form of documentation because by documenting the children's work, the children feel we value their thoughts and "...we give value to them as unique individuals who are saying something important; they feel how important they are to us." (p. 242)

When I look over my documentation for an example of listening, it is not so clear to me.  I offer the following video as a possible example.  It first appeared in a post from April 2011 called Horizontal Channels and the Infectiousness of Play.  The video starts with one boy vigorously rolling his car back and forth over the sand.  As he does that, one-by-one the children at the table around him notice and quickly join in until there is a crescendo of joyful activity and sound.

Infectiousness of Play from Thomas Bedard on Vimeo.

Does this represent the children listening to each other or simply following another child's lead? There is really no overt reflection on the part of the children.  Is that an important part of listening?

As you can see, I am still left with questions.  Here are a few more.

     *What does reciprocal listening look like?
     *Can this type of listening be both active and passive?
     *How does a teacher foster or encourage reciprocal listening throughout the classroom?
     *Especially in the non-vebal realm, what are some of the different forms of reciprocal listening?
     *Does there have to be a connection/relationship before participants can listen to each other?
     *Do you need common ground for reciprocal listening?

As the new school year begins, I will look for ways to listen to the children and to show them I am listening.  I will also look for ways children are already listening to themselves and to each other. And hopefully, we can discover multiple ways to dialogue and reflect on each other's thoughts and actions. If we are able to do that, we will build a learning community as we construct our knowledge of the world and of each other.

As a teacher I can't tell you how many times I have said to the children: "Thanks for being a good listener."  My colleague and mentor, Lani Shapiro, who has visited Reggio Emilia several times, pointed out that this teacher phrase is essentially praising the children for being obedient.  (How would you feel if someone asks you: "Are you being a good listener?")  Since I am not looking for obedience, I will discard this teacher phrase.  What will I replace it with? Maybe I don't need to replace it; being a good listener is what I need to do.